canis187

Contact info

2008-11-01T18:01:08Z

My e-mail is the same as it has been for years, the one attached to my LJ account here works, and a few of you have my gmail addy.

As far as phone number, the last 4 digits are 9659. it is the same cell number I have had since 2003, so if you have that one it's still good.

if you would like my cell number or g-mail addy just shoot me a line through my LJ linked e-mail and Ill give it to you. For obvious reasons I'm not just going to post it... heh ;-P

Well, it's been another year.

2008-11-01T07:33:10Z

For those of you that don’t know (if anyone ever actually reads this thing) last December I quit working at the US State Department and took a job as a contractor for the DOD. I am a “Network Penetration Tester” though that title doesn’t accurately describe what I do. I have heard the things my team does described as ‘Tiger Teaming,’ ‘Red Teaming,’ and ‘Full Scope Penetration Testing.’ We have people that physically break into buildings (fake ID badges, picking locks, sneaking in at night and taking doors off their hinges, etc), we have people that do electronic warfare (802.11, cellular, radio, etc), and then there is my section.

My section is the “Computer Exploitation Team.” Our job is to conduct OSINT, establish left and right boundaries (what computers does the customer not want us to touch, everything else is in play), footprint the network, enumerate, find vulnerabilities, launch attacks, and other such activities. I was recently made a team lead, and so now I also have to meet with the customer and go to planning conferences and such.

Well, I have been at my new job for just shy of 11 months now. It is still as awesome as the day I signed up for this. Since last December I have earned 31,399 United Airlines frequent flier miles. I would have a few more except the trip to Ohio and part of the trip to Texas was on American Airlines, and the trip to Gitmo (Guantanamo Bay, Cuba) was on a military chartered flight, so no miles there.

Lets see, where have I been… My home is in Virginia, but I also do missions here so I will list places I have had missions and just assume that between every mission I am back home: Virginia, New York, Germany, Nebraska, Gitmo, Hawaii, Ohio/Texas (one week each, no trip home in the middle), Texas (again, separate trip), and now another mission in Virginia. All in all it was a light year for me. They said they went easy on me for my first year. But next year they are already planning me for many more missions, wish me luck! Is it bad that the ticket agents and the TSA guys are starting to know me at Dulles?

On other news, I have been living in my ‘new’ apartment for the last year and I still love it. Big floor to ceiling bay windows that look out over the Potomac and Old Town Alexandria (if you squint you can make out the Washington monument on a clear day). The windows are literally the entire wall of my living room. I put up a two story cat tree for my cats in the big window, they love it.

I have now had my ‘new’ car for a year. Every time I get home from a trip I remember why I love my car so much. After driving the rentals (the latest being a Chevy Malibu) my car just feels so much… nicer. I feel like such a snob saying that. But there a reason why ‘nice cars’ are considered ‘nice’. In case you are curious my car is a 2004 Volvo S60 R. The R model has 300bhp, all wheel drive, electronically controlled suspension, and all kinds of other goodies. I feel like such a yuppie. I am 30, drive a Volvo, have a retirement plan… what else do I need to make this image complete?

Well, it is 3:30 am here so I guess this is enough musing about my life for the moment. I have a few friends that keep blogs and I have started enjoying reading theirs again after ignoring the blogosphere for so long. I suppose I really should start keeping a journal of some sort. With all the traveling I have been doing recently I have had a lot of thoughts on all the places. I really should write them down. Maybe With my new found ‘responsibility’ I might just try and keep this up to date.

Who’s taking the odds? I have $5 to put down!

Horosocpes can be fun

2007-11-21T17:16:56Z

Lets101 Quizzes - Quizzes For Fun

Fitting a square peg into a round hole.

2007-11-21T17:13:54Z

Well…. It looks like I am going to be starting a new job on December 10th. I just accepted an offer letter for a job as a ‘Network Security and Penetration Tester’. The job really excited me and I already know several of the people working there so it should be fun. There is a lot of travel involved, and already they are telling me that I will have to travel to four or five places over the next few months spending about 2 weeks at each location. Time to find a cat sitter I guess.

I am really excited about this change. The hardest part is dealing with the company I work for now. They are upset that I am leaving and already tried bribery and threats to get me to stay. It’s nice to feel wanted but my current job just feels like I am going no where and really is pretty uninteresting. The new job is in a field that I really find interesting. I am already working on a project that they mentioned to me and I don’t even start work there for another 2 weeks.

Wait, what did you say?

2007-11-20T21:26:43Z

Video games!

2007-11-15T19:44:17Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QNI3W8UB-s

For anyone who has ever played a video game.

How many can you name?

How To:: Destroy the earth

2007-11-08T17:09:56Z

All you supervillans pay attention now!

http://qntm.org/destroy

Cool Flash

2007-10-17T13:38:32Z

http://duggmirror.com/design/The_Most_Awesome_Pic_EVER/supercoolpic.swf

No, Not Yours!

2007-10-10T21:07:50Z

A bit cruel maybe, but yes, it did make me laugh.

Best use for an i-Phone EVAR!

2007-10-10T18:08:36Z

Fight for Kisses

2007-10-09T16:58:40Z

I think this is a french site for some sort of mens Razor, but not really sure. I just know that the flash video trailer that loads when you go to the site is absolutely hilarious.

http://www.ffk-wilkinson.com/

I love flash games sometimes.

2007-10-01T15:43:16Z

Sometimes just the right flash game comes along and I will lose hours of otherwise non-productive time that could be spent 'working' during my weekdays. This is one of those games.

http://www.coinhop.com/Rompicapo/gioco-5958-Pointer.html

Furries Vs. Klingons

2007-09-25T13:42:49Z

I just saw this on a forum that I regularly visit and I just couldn't keep it to myself. I was laughing so hard my co-worker came over to my office to see what was up.

http://www.boingboing.net/2007/09/25/furries-vs-klingons.html

Well, it was worth a shot.

2007-04-18T14:03:31Z

Damn those MiB

Thats "Microsoft in Black".

Really, for a free market we don't do a good job of encouraging open and fair competition between vedors for thos government contracts.

Superfriends Part Deux?

2007-04-10T19:37:25Z

Assemble a super team from your favorite films, TV shows, books etc. Your team must consist of the following:

Team Leader
Warrior
Smartypants
Hottie
Comic Relief

All your superteam members must be from DIFFERENT sources.

Team Leader – Colnel Jack O'Niel. That much Spec Ops experience demands respect. Also, every leader needs some snark.

Warrior – Wolverine. Sorry, I know this is just totaly obvious, but you can't get past the coolness that is Wolverine / Logan. I'd take him as the group 'Tank' any day of the week.

Smartypants – Seamus Harper. Yes, totaly revealing my inner (or not so inner) geek here, but Seamus, from the sci-fi TV show Andromeda, can literaly fix anything. He got bored and invented the "Teleporter" (think Star Trek Transporter) only it went through time as well as space... He's also a caffine addict, so I can relate to him.

Hottie – This is a hard catagory. Do you go for the But Kicking Chick in tight leather, or do you go for an 'everyday cutie, girl next door' or do you go for the worthless piece of fluff? Well, I would have to go for Chloe, from Smallville. Not only is she a cute blond, but shes a kickass reporter who can always get you the dirt you need. And she's something of an acomplished computer hacker. Yeah, I would ask her to marry me if I ever met her.

Comic Relief – Xander. Do you even need to ask why?

Wii is dumb? But it still rules!

2007-02-21T14:41:41Z

PS3 Vs. Wii

Just saw this and it made me chuckle. I love you-tube sometimes!

Am I a Hero?

2007-02-16T20:58:04Z

Isaac Mendez
You scored 29 Idealism, 54 Nonconformity, 70 Nerdiness

I need painting supplies. Congratulations, you're Isaac Mendez! You're a talented, creative, artistic soul with a few demons you've been working to overcome. You are really passionate person and you are not afraid to express yourself or your emotions. Your best quality: Creativity and artistic talent. Your worst quality: A possibly addictive or indulgent personality

The Heroes Personality Test

Because I am Neil Gaiman's bitch

2007-02-02T15:24:33Z

Penn Jillette

Update to Unfinished Buisness

2007-01-19T17:50:57Z

I changed a bit and edited what I had posted before as well as adding some new stuff. I am not sure how much I like what I wrote after the conversation with the General. I need to get throught he training and initial parts of becoming a warrior and I need to introduce the conflict that is going to grow in the Warriors mind. I have a few ideas for some future conversations with people and angels but how to get from here to there is still stumping me. The conversation I have in my head with Lucifer is great, but how do I work that into the story? bah, well, if you are bored go read what I posted so far.

Unfinished Buisness

2007-01-18T22:33:07Z

I have had some story ideas percolating in my head for a while. Generaly I don't do much with these, I day dream about them for a while and then let them pass on. Today at work I got bored and sat here daydreaming for a bit. Then a revelation struck me. I am sitting in front of a computer while I day dream. Why don't I try typing up whatever it is I am pondering while I sit here beeing useless. So thats what I did and this is what I came up with. In my mind the story goes on for a bit longer but this seemed like a good cut off point for now. I'll see if it generates any kind of buzz that would make this worthwhile to pursue. And if you are incredibly unlucky I might just strat posting these plot bunnies more often. Just so you know this is all original characters though I am not above admitting that a lot of my ideas are rip-offs of other fiction I have read over the years.

This story is a Spwawn rip-off but from the other side. When I was dreaming this story in my head I didn't even think of Spawn, it wasn't until I was trying to come up with a description of the story that I thought of that. A man upon his death is charged with battling for the forces of heaven. In my mind it is more along the lines of Preacher (a comic book) or Constantine (I am more familiar with the movie than the comics, but stealing a bit from both). This first portion of a chapter is just the story of him dieing and talking to the Angel that will end up giving him his powers.

_______________________________________________________________________________________
Memory dulls pain. I think it’s a defense mechanism the brain uses so our memories don’t drive us insane. This extends beyond physical pain and runs the whole gambit of pain types, emotional, psychological, all of the major pain food groups. But for me, my most painful memory involves physical pain.

It was the day I died. I remember all the small details even now. The way the water beaded up on the paint of the car hood. The reflections of the windows and lights of the buildings reflected in each water droplet and scattered like cut gems across the shiny black paint job of the Mercedes. I remember it was cold and my breath fogged up the paint under my face. I watched the spray of white mist condense then evaporate with each breath I took as they got steadily shallower. I remember all of the voices around me, some panicked and some just gawking and wondering what happened; though I couldn’t tell you a single word that anyone said, I just remember the voices.

But I don’t remember the pain. I have a memory that there was pain. My mind tells me that it was excruciating and nothing I ever want to feel again. But the memory of what it actually felt like is buried, like looking at something through those gauzy curtains women like to hang around their beds. The colors are muted, details are fuzzy, but you can see the basic outline and shape of the thing.

So here I sit, almost 30 years after I died. No, I am not writing these memoirs from heaven and sending them down, or from hell and sending them up for that matter. No, I am sitting in my den behind my desk at my computer typing these on a mundane word processor the same as any other human. I suppose that you could no longer call me a mundane human anymore.

I am immortal now. No, I wasn’t born immortal and it’s not like they showed in those movies or TV series when I was a kid. I guess I would die if you cut off my head but there wouldn’t be a funky psychedelic lightning storm. The story of how I became immortal goes back to the day I died and the events that followed immediately after my death.

I was hit by a car. At least it was a nice car, a brand new black Mercedes E class. I never did find out who the driver was but I like to imagine it was some famous politician rushing off to meet up with his secretary mistress at the hotel I worked near. There is no real reason why I like that story, I just find it kind of funny, and I hope that a fatal car accident at least led to him getting caught by his wife.

The rain had just ended a few minutes earlier and it was dark out. I was crossing with the signal but apparently Mr. To-busy-to-notice didn’t see his red light until it was too late. He slammed on his brakes but the car just slid on the wet pavement, all 4 tires locked up so not even ABS could save me. He slid across the intersection and took me out at the knees folding my body across his hood and making my head strike with enough force to cause inter-cranial bleeding (my official cause of death I later found out). As I lay there on the hood, the world going dark around me everything froze.

I was standing in front of the car looking down on my body and everything around me wasn’t moving. I looked almost peaceful sprawled across the hood. With my eyes closed I could pretend that I was asleep and just dreaming this; though why I would be asleep on some strangers’ car hood I don’t quite know. But I already knew what had happened. I have seen the movie “Ghost” and I was just waiting for the shadows to reach up and take me or for a blinding white light and choirs of angel to start singing and accept me into their open arms.

What I got instead was a bad British accent saying, “Yeah, it’s always so tragic; seeing your self lying there all bloodied and broken. Let me know when you are done crying so we can move along. I haven’t got all day you know.”

It may have been unconscionably rude but it did serve the purpose of snapping me out of my existential moment of pondering exactly what came after death. I guess I now knew, bad Kevin Smith and Alan Rickman rip-offs.

The snooty English guy with the greasy hair continued, “I don’t actually look or sound like Alan you know. Your human mind is just interpreting my angelic presence in a way that is comprehensible and comfortable to your puny existence, though you will see my true form soon enough.”

At this point I was getting truly confused. There was no scary shadow demons grasping my ankles and pulling me down to my rightfully deserved place in hell. I wasn’t seeing any cloudy spiraling tunnel with a light at the end of it. Death was certainly not living up as advertised. This character in front of me was the only other thing moving in this time-frozen world so I saw no point in arguing with him if he offered me some sort of answers, though the mind reading thing was a little creepy.

Greasy Hair continued with his bored yet still irate rant, “I suppose you are wondering why you aren’t moving on to the fire pits or the clouds and harps. The answer is not simple and will probably take a lifetime of explanation for the complete story. As you Americans say, the Cliff Notes version is Heaven and Hell are at war. And that’s where you come in.”

“I am the messenger of The Lord and the General in command of the Host, the armies of Heaven. The truth is we are losing. We have been constrained to fight only on the battlefields in the heavenly realms by God’s edict that earth is the realm of Humanity and His servants can’t act openly on this plane of existence. He gave humanity Free Will and it is up to humanity to defend themselves if they so choose.”

“As you can guess the Infernal Armies aren’t limited by any such edicts and have been operating here for millennia. They have the upper hand and their power and influence are only increasing. Recently a rather smart fellow came up with a plan to allow us to maintain some forces here on earth to help combat the darkness.”

“We are recruiting humans, and you are one of our recruits. We take people who have died and are on the verge of passing over and halt the process. We have to use souls that are neutral. If a soul contains to much goodness it rises to quickly at the moment of death for us to stop and we can’t pull souls out of heaven to be our warriors. Once you move on you can’t come back. So we have to find souls that are balanced, containing as much good as evil. Those souls linger for an instant while their balance is weighed before they slip to their eternal destination. It is at this moment we step in and freeze your spirit here on earth long enough for us to make our proposal and give you a new body, one of our creation.”

“An Angel has no physical body so when we come to earth we have to create a physical form for ourselves. We take pure Mana, the material used to create the universe, and form it into a body for us to inhabit. This gives us certain advantages over normal people, but it has its limitations as well, as you will learn. The body we will give you is created in the same way.”

“The only question is if you are willing to become one of our soldiers. God gave man free will. Humans are the only beings he created directly in his own image. He gave you a choice to create your own destiny and make of yourselves as you will. Every other creature, including us Angels, must do whatever he says however he says. We are no better than computer programs, following our instructions and doing what we were made to do and never being able to grow beyond what we were made to be.”

“Humans can become whatever they desire. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a factory worker, it is all up to you, you can choose. Just as now you have the choice, you can become a soldier and carry on the good fight here on Earth. Or you can choose to pass beyond to whatever fate lies in wait for you.”

At this point I made what appeared to be the obvious choice. I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to leave earth and my family and friends. I chose to become one of the “Holy Warriors.” At the time I didn’t realize how much would change with that simple decision.

The angel reached out and placed his palm against my forehead and said a word that contained no sound. It was a word of pure power, a word of creation. A wave of power slammed into and through me like standing near an explosion and feeling yourself being compressed by the shockwave.

He smiled like he knew something I didn’t but his only words to me were, “It is done. Your contact will meet up with shortly and it will tell you whenever we have an assignment for you. In the mean time you will find your new identity in your pocket. I suggest you go to your new home and settle in. You will have money deposited in your bank account each month. Don’t worry about taxes or any such nonsense, it is all taken care of. If in the course of executing your duties you need more than your monthly allotment just tell your contact, it will make arrangements. Good hunting.”

With that greasy hair disappeared. There was no theatrical poof or bamf. One moment he was standing in front of me and everything was frozen in time. The next moment sound came barging back in and I was standing in front of the car and my dead body was still sprawled across the hood.

I stepped back onto the sidewalk as I noticed other people were rushing to try and offer aid while others called 911 on their cell phones. I turned around and froze. In front of me was a plate glass window of a store but it wasn’t the window display that had startled me, it was my reflection in the window. I didn’t look so different now, but I definitely wasn’t me. I could pass for my own cousin, possibly my own brother if you squinted just right. But my appearance had changed. I also was wearing different clothes. Gone was my black jeans and polo shirt covered by a ski jacket. I was wearing a long black leather trench-coat over black slacks and a fashionably rumpled button up white shirt. Black leather dress shoes on my feet and matching leather gloves completed my ensemble. More chiseled features on a more angular face was the biggest difference in my appearance, that and the nice haircut. I had never been terribly conscious of my appearance and months could pass between haircuts usually leaving me with a slightly shaggy appearance. But now I looked like I belonged on the set of some Hollywood movie. I wasn’t the next Hollywood heartthrob, but I wasn’t far from it.

I decided to see who I now was and reached into the inside pocket of my jacket and retrieved my new wallet. The drivers’ license matched my new appearance and the address wasn’t to far from where I lived before the transformation. The name was actually the same as before and that struck me as odd. But if that’s what the powers above decided who was I to argue. With that thought I decided it was time to go home.

The metro ride was unremarkable and seemed terribly ordinary, especially because I was riding the same train to the same stop as I had before. But it did somewhat calm my panic through the familiarity of routine. My nice business appearance did attract a few looks from the more mundane looking working class when I got on the bus, but no one stared or questioned it. I got off at my usual stop with a few other people but had to stop myself from walking the usual route home. I had to walk a few blocks the other direction to what was apparently my new home in a somewhat fancy high-rise condominium complex. I really was starting to think I had come out ahead in this deal.

I should have known it was to good to last. The talking ferret that greeted me as soon as I opened the door of my new home brought the surrealism of my situation crashing home. The ferret explained to me that he was my connection to the powers above. He was supposed to advise and instruct me in my transition and then later on pass on to me my assignments and report my successes and failures to the higher command. It appeared he was my watcher, sage, councilor, and comic relief all rolled into one.

He explained that he was actually a very low level of angel and couldn’t take on a form that would allow him to interfere in the workings of human society. A small animal was the most they were allowed to take out of the higher realms for a long term assignment. At least he hadn’t taken the form of a skunk.

Over the next few days he indoctrinated me to my new situation. Some of my new powers were fairly basic. Since my very body was made of Mana, Gods stuff of creation, I was a walking holy object. My very touch was enough to burn demons, and even destroy some of the weaker ones. I was stronger and faster than a normal human. Mundane objects could not really harm me. You could run me through with rebar and I just had to pull it out and my body would heal itself within moments, but it still hurt like hell. The ferret warned me that a wound from a demon or a cursed item would hurt me as if I was a normal human. Injuries taken like that would take time to heal.

It was explained that as I got older my connection to the Source would strengthen and my powers would grow. Exactly what those powers were couldn’t be foretold and would depend on my personality and other more intangible circumstances. It seemed rather vague and I just shrugged deciding I would deal with that when it came.

A few days after settling into the apartment the ferret told me I would have to start my physical training to be a warrior. He told me that the primary weapon of a Warrior of the Host was our sword. Created by the Lord himself from the very material of his throne these weapons were one of the few ways to truly banish a demon and permanently seal him in hell. I could summon the sword through and act of will and thought and return it to wherever it came from the same way. Handy, that was. No need to worry about checking it in my luggage if I ever had to take a plane somewhere.

The ferret started me training to fight after showing me how to access the sword. He could create an illusion of an opponent. It was substantial enough that when it hit me it hurt, and when using weapons it would actually leave a welt if it hit. The ferret assured me wit was just an extension of his power and not a real object, but let me just say that it certainly felt real enough when it punched me across the jaw.

Several weeks were spent like this. Training for most of the day and going out to eat in the evenings. I would usually eat downtown or in one of the surrounding business districts. I liked watching people, I had before I died and it seemed that that had carried over. Sitting there watching families walk by made me almost forget that I was something other than human now.

It was on one of these after dinner walks that I encountered my first demon. I was walking along the capital mall near the Washington Monument when I felt something Wrong. It wasn’t exactly a smell in the air, but that is the best I can equate it with. I just felt a pungent wrongness that seemed to invade my senses. As I looked around I noticed that one of the tourists seemed to have heat shimmers coming off him. I was a little shocked; figuring out that this guy that looked like someone’s father was really a demon from hell. I stood there frozen with indecision he must have felt me because he turned and stared right at me. His eyes seemed to glow with an inner fire, burning red for a moment. He snarled one of his lips in obvious distaste and turned and walked off the path towards a group of trees.

Of course in my innocence I followed, exactly as he planned. There was no warning, no challenge, just as soon as I entered the perimeter of the trees I felt something coming at me. A rock larger than my head traveled through the space I had occupied a moment before and struck the tree next to me hard enough to embed itself in the wood. Rolling to my feet I reached for that pocket dimension that contained my sword and drew it forth. I don’t think the demon expected me to have that blade because he pulled up short from his charge towards me and I saw a moment of fear enter his eyes.

Using all the power the ferret had taught me to tap into I pushed my body forward in a blur of motion to fast for a normal person to follow. The blade entered off the mark I had been aiming for. I had wanted to simply sever his head, that being enough to destroy most demons. Instead my blade entered his upper shoulder near the neck and sliced at an upward angle. This left the head attached by a small flap of skin and dangling off to ones die of his still standing body. Apparently this was enough to destroy a low level demon such as him as his body started to burn from the inside with a distinctive smell of brimstone. The shell melted like soft wax and smoldered on the ground for a few minutes. When it was done there was just a scorch mark in the grass and that lingering smell of smoke.

My first encounter may have been simple and straight forward, but I left that grove feeling very disturbed. He had looked just like a normal human. I wasn’t sure exactly what had happened really. My contact hadn’t explained how I would know a demon when I saw one and I had assumed that they would be the horrible scaled creatures from the paintings and movies. This guy had looked like just a normal Joe except for the heat shimmer only I seemed to be able to see. Had he really been a demon or had I just sent someone’s dad to hell?

Fighting Hamsters from the sky!

2006-12-21T15:15:53Z

http://jwz.livejournal.com/543178.html

Found this and fell out of my chair at work I was laughing so hard. Good thing I have a private office and Im tucked back in a corner so no one else saw me.

My favorite childhood toys...

2006-12-19T21:53:13Z

http://www.radarmagazine.com/features/2006/12/toys.php

Just to give you an idea of the wonderfullness of this article here are a few of my favorite line from just the first page...

". . .those treasured playthings that drew blood, chewed digits, took out eyes, and, in one case, actually irradiated."

"Sadly, today's underage boys will never know the primal excitement of a summer's evening spent impaling friends before suppertime."

A special Christmas message for your special someone.

2006-12-18T21:00:23Z

http://video.nbc.com/player.html?dlid=51289

Apparently Justin Timberlake had a special christmas gift for his special Significant Other.

Not really Safe for work, but not totaly unsafe, it is from NBC.com ...

Israeli Defense Force hates D&D Players

2006-12-14T21:59:17Z

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3052074,00.html

If I got sent to one of their shrinks I bet I could have gotten out of having to serve, I can be as crazy as I had to be...

My Xmas Stocking

2006-12-13T17:12:00Z

Xmas Stocking

leave a gift for canis187

get your stocking